To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
