So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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