forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
