You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
