We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
