she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize