That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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