I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
