god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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