I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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