Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
