someone get that fucking seahorse.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
