I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
