I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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