this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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