this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
