I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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