can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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