I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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