4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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