"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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