i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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