You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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