The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
