they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize