i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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