Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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