Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
