Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She is in my trunk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
