just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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