well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
