are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
