Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
