he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
