he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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