too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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