then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it hurts more in the daytime
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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