Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
