What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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