I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
