Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize