Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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