The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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