coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
