Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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