My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
