too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize