too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
