Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
worst night to have a conscience
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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