playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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