This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're a waste of cheezeits
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize