You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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