Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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