they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
