i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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