census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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