I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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