i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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