what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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