guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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