Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There are leaves in my underwear?
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