I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
