Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize